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Post by christine , on Apr 19, 2009 18:10:37 GMT -5
TITLE: Masquerades
TYPE: Free Verse.
CRITIQUE: Yes.
OTHER: I wrote this one for English during our Poetry Unit.
School; a masquerade.
Students, teachers, administration,
Every last person, hidden behind
Similar, yet unique masks.
Few dare to venture out from behind
Their shield, frightened of what might become.
To be torn to shreds, by fake friends
And mortal enemies, would not be enviable.
With their disguise, people become
Something new, something different.
But it doesn’t matter; being someone
You’re not isn’t as fun when you
Wear your disguise day in, day out.
Why hide behind tuxedos and ball gowns,
Masks, even
When you, as you are,
Have the potential to be great?
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Post by Kaiya on Apr 19, 2009 21:26:11 GMT -5
Okay, seriously, you are ridiculously talented. The visuals and wording blew me away AGAIN. I just...damn. Good work. ADD MORE STUFF! I want to read more. ;D
EDIT: One thing, though... The commas/semi-colons again... Just saying.
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Post by christine , on Apr 20, 2009 16:28:31 GMT -5
Thanks again. I really appreciate the feedback. I don’t show my poetry to too many people I know in real life because I’m afraid of getting some really harsh opinions. What can I say? The people I know are scary in general.
I know what you mean. Maybe I can edit it later to fix that?
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Post by Kaiya on Apr 20, 2009 16:40:08 GMT -5
I definitely agree. I'm always rather hesitant to show my stuff. Reading it, oh Gods. Grace got me to read at a poetry night once. It was terrifying, but I loved it.
Totally! You're allowed to edit it as much and whenever you want. Hehe. ;D
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Post by GANGSTA!cat, on Apr 25, 2009 9:20:09 GMT -5
Okay, can I say that I adore this? I totally wish I'd written it!
And I can relate to the theme of the poem; there are so many people in my school that you describe as the 'fake friends and the mortal enemies'. It's so imaginative, and you have talent with a capital T! Good job!
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Post by gemma on Apr 25, 2009 9:25:01 GMT -5
Christine, darling, this really is wonderful. It's so amazing to be able to relate those "simple-complexity" type issues in such a complex and simple way. You really nailed it. Beautiful job, darling.
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Post by christine , on Apr 25, 2009 18:04:33 GMT -5
Thanks, Cat. I love writing about people I know because it gets me really fired up. People are horrible...
And thanks, Gem. ;D
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