[K] Art is Life Monologue

[`HananiAya]

TITLE: Art is Life Monologue
GENRE: Drama
CRITIQUE: Yes please!
STATUS: Scrap.
SUMMARY: Was the beginning of a dramatic Monologue I was writing for College, but I ended up scrapping this and starting over. Just read it again and I love it so much, that I just had to post it!

Art is life. Art is an apple tree being caressed by the wind, and Art is the scream of a young girl as he steps menacingly towards her. Light will dance across an everyday object in a way it never has before, and you just have to grasp it and shove it on canvas right away. Of course, the challenge is getting it just right. It's the source of many a madness, perfectionism. Pity.

There's always that one painting, sculpture, the break-through, the masterpiece. It's like a rite of Passage, when you start to achieve your masterpiece. Many artists make many attempts before they get it. This is my fourth.

I prefer to work with pencil and paint, as opposed to words. They are... hard for me to use. Normal people... hilarious how I don't consider myself the same. But yes, normal people. They act like their heads are so empty... or at least organized and simple. Is it really just mine that acts as a ballroom for thoughts? They swish around, in their pretty dresses, too quick for me to grab before they are gone. I would quite happily sit and watch my thoughts all day though, they're nice. So intelligent, so artistic, and just out of reach. I admire them.

I'm not some kind of retard, if that's what you think. There is just too much going on in my mind for me to sift through and organize all the time. It's quite frustrating how easy everyone else finds it, it makes me feel helpless. But there is one thing I can do better than they can, and that's Art.

I have now found the final draft that I handed in. Skip straight to it by clicking here.

[Kaiya]

This is amazing! The visuals are spectacular and it's all done in a very straight forward way. I can't wait to read the final draft of this.

P.S. I have to bug you to add a rating to the beginning of the "Subject" field. (Silly me forgot to add the thing about ratings to the rules on submitting. Sorries!)

[`HananiAya]

Oh yeah sure

Thank you for the lovely critique, and thanks for the feature! Haha I feel so special

[Kaiya]

You aaarrreee special!

[`HananiAya]

TITLE: Art is Life Monologue [Final Draft]
GENRE: Drama
CRITIQUE: Yes please!
STATUS: Completed.
SUMMARY: This is the version I submitted for marking. The problem with the first version is I had said everything in those first few paragraphs, and no where else to go, no mystery left in the text. I think that the original beginning is more instantly likable because of the images it conjures, but I thought I'd show you this too.

I should be an actress you know, or at least a model. See the thing is, I am everything. Like, most actresses will be acting won’t they? But they won’t really be feeling it, like properly. They’ll be pretending to feel it, but I’m so in touch with my emotions I actually do feel it. It’s like a switch that I flip, and suddenly I’m that person. I actually am them. And I think that’s a serious skill that I’ve got. And my dream really is to maybe start out as a model. Most people, when they start out as a model, end up as a WAG, but I’d like to end up as an actress. The model bit’s just to get some money in, in a creative and emotional way.


God I love being happy. Isn’t happy just a wonderful feeling? When I’m on top-form, nothing can get me down. I’m so euphoric, I feel the need to share it, and often make it my mission to infect everyone around me with happiness. And there are no insecurities present in your mind, no doubts or worries; like what people think of your looks. People are so silly to care what others think. A person can be so much happier if they stop listening to the words that are only there to bring them down. When I’m happy, I feel like an equal and dare I admit it sometimes better than everyone around me. Never anything as superficial as in my beauty, more my understanding of the world. And being extremely happy has other benefits as well. I don’t feel tied down by my emotions, and thus I am free to be unworldly creative! Oh I can just feel it now, this immensely warm happiness brewing up inside my chest. Maybe this is why humans think their heart is tied to their emotions... this gentle firecracker feeling is happening in the same place.


When I am happy, I am also quite dedicated and productive when it comes to interesting tasks. It has to be something slightly interesting though, because of course it has to engage me in the first place! But seriously, how satisfying is it when you achieve something? Even if it’s not that big. I may not have cured cancer today, but at least I finally finished my presentation for Business Studies. My whole life is about trying to be successful, that’s what surviving is.


I mean, I’m not always happy. It goes back to what I said earlier, about being everything. I’ll admit, there are the bad moments too. It's like the total opposite to when I'm happy, the other end of the extreme. When it’s bad, you feel small. Like a child; Like you need someone there to protect you. And you feel cold, or at least if you’re not cold you feel the need to wrap up, just to protect yourself. You feel insecure and like people are staring at you; through you. You're also strangely quiet, like someone's reached down your throat and stolen that outgoing voice of yours. And it’s really hard to concentrate, purely because you fell totally un-motivated to do anything. You just sit there and kinda do nothing because at times like that, sometimes you don’t even want to do something fun. Even for that you can be unmotivated.

Other times, you just want to sit and vegetate; like I can sit all day in front of the computer or the TV. There's never anything good on. And it’s really frustrating, because you want to get stuff done, but you can’t because you’re unmotivated. You reach for the mouse, and go to click on the latest homework to be completed. Then your hand stops, and slowly it moves towards the internet. You have no idea what you're going to look at, but the internet holds so much information that it's simply begging to be acquired. Most of the time I realise what I'm doing and just get angry at myself for being so irresponsible. Do your homework. Sometimes, I don't even get to the Internet. I just sit there staring out the window, at the computer screen, at the wall – trying to figure out what to do with myself.


Homework is impossible when I’m bored. If it doesn't interest me - which most often it doesn't – no matter how hard I try I can’t make myself do it. I like to think of myself as an easily interested person too. I'm interested in most types of music, I could read most books, and I'm fascinated by the history of Language, civilization and different cultures. Quantum Physics sounds pretty interesting, and I'd like to learn more about psychology one day too. Some would say it was too much to ask to be interested in homework too, but I should be. For god's sakes, the reason I picked all my subjects was because I'm seriously interested in them. So why would I still rather wander around the house than touch my homework? Why do I stand still as time rushes by and the deadline draws ever closer? Why does it feel like I’m reaching for a knife, rather than a pen?


Eventually, you get to the point where you give up. Maybe you've done more work than you realise, and this is your minds way of telling you to slow down. The people around you see the struggle in your eyes and misinterpret it for hard work. They try to tell me I've done so much. Sometimes I fight the frustration building up in my heart and I do give up. And then like some reoffending Alcoholic or drug addict, I guiltily switch on the TV or a computer game. Mid-way through yet another pointless waste of time, I'll realise I'm doing it again. The anger that burns up inside me... I don't know where to direct it. I have no god I believe in to blame, all I have is myself.


And it’s at that moment that it gets worse, because then you realise you have nothing to be sad about, nothing at all. The only thing sad, is the fact that you are sad. And then it becomes frustrating, because you wonder if you are some kind of retard. Or possibly - Oh I don’t know what I mean. See that's another thing. You can be perfectly fine, and then your mind goes blank. You can think about something for ages, and be so intelligent about it, and then think, okay so what’s the conclusion? And you’ve forgotten. That is so irritating. Like, throw-teddies-at-the-wall irritating.


But yeah you get into such a state, because you don’t know why you’re sad, and what’s wrong with you. You don't want to be sad. You just are. And then you get even more frustrated because you don’t know how to become unsad; how to fix yourself. Plus you’ve got a life a live still, so whilst you’re going through this internal struggle, someone might ask you to do something and... I can just never do it, because I’m so wound up I can’t concentrate. But then you’re going to let them down, and that’s even more upsetting, and it all just piles up. And you can’t exactly explain it to them can you, because you don’t even know yourself what the hell is going on!
I’m not stupid though. I did some research on the internet and



maybe I’m just being silly.

[Kaiya]

Okay. See, the thing is, I like your "newer version" just as much, if not more. The first one is great, don't get me wrong, but it's like an entirely different piece when compared to the second one. The second one is more about emotions and thought, rather than art and creativity. I love all of the feeling in your second one. I can feel the anger and confusion, the need to know more. It's exciting, and I got completely lost in this piece as I was reading it.

One thing, though, because I just remembered. What's a WAG? XD Also, I'm not so sure the first paragraph goes very well with the rest of the piece. It doesn't flow into it at all, and it's...well, not relevant (except for the one instance where you refer back to it).